Leif M. Wright
Author, Journalist, Musician, Programmer, Daddy
"You feel uncomfortable, wincing and crying as you read. The daring style is comparable to Chuck Palahniuk’s novels" — Amy O'Hara

Leif M. Wright's Blog

Wieners are funny, part deux - plus, neglected pools aren't funny

Filed under Asa, Axl, Country Livin, DIY, Family, Parenting Poorly, Wieners
The dead grass there is Roundup's fault. There's a steep drop-off there that I can't hit with the mower. Shut up. Anyway, the drain side of the pool is now plumbed with PVC. After we get the pool to a swimmable condition, I'll also plumb the return side, but it's working for now, so it can wait.
When we bought the house we're now in, it had stood vacant for several years; it's way out in the country, the real estate listing online only listed half the square footage and neglected to mention many of the house's amenities, and the owners had moved to Oregon, so they weren't maintaining the property. 
Anyway, I got all that taken care of once we bought the house, but we bought the house in late autumn or early winter, so I didn't mess with the pool. 
Well, a thousand bucks later, let me tell you: mess with the pool as early as possible. 
The pool's winter top had slid off, and our property is loaded with trees, so the bottom of the pool had like a foot of rotted leaves in it, and the rest of the pool was brown like a swamp:
Dead squirrel, anyone? Yes, that was the water in the pool. The fragrance was sublime.

The pump wouldn't start, so I switched out the capacitor and got it running. 
Not the simplest of problems to track down.

Then the leaf trap next to the pump started leaking from a huge crack down the side that someone had sealed with bad epoxy. Then the seals started leaking. 
So I discovered the trap is hard to find, which meant I needed to fix the bad repair job, which I did. Twice. On the third repair, the flexible hose leading from the pool's leaf trap to the pump's leaf trap broke a fitting as I was tightening it. Fuck that shit. Frustrated, I went to Lowe's and bought a bunch of PVC pipe, which is what you see in the picture above. OK, that problem solved, now I just have to work in cleaning up the outside of the pool and letting the chemicals do their trick on the inside. I'm going to replace the other flexible hose with PVC later, but right now, everything's working, so I'm not jumping right into that one. 
I said all that to say this: Remember when I said all little boys think wieners are funny and posted a picture of my five-year-old pretending his corndog was a wiener? Well, my three-year-old was "helping" me plumb the PVC, but all he could think of to do was, you guessed it: 
That barn behind him, by the way, I think is hideous. But my wife loves the "patina", so red and silver it stays.
Anyway, apparently, if you find a piece of pipe laying around, it automatically becomes a wiener.
This is the pool's water this morning, which still isn't swimmable, but much better than a swamp with a dead squirrel floating on it. You can see about three feet of hose beneath the water there, which is a major improvement.
It has taken my wife and me working steadily for two weeks, tons of chemicals, lots of broken skimmer equipment and enough frustration to make Gandhi punch someone in the throat to get the water to a place where you can see anything beneath the surface. Hopefully, now that the filtration system is fully operational, it won't take much longer to see clear water.
The moral is dual: Wieners are always funny. And make sure you take care of your pool, because fixing it after neglect is a major pain in the butt.