Leif M. Wright
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Leif M. Wright's Blog

'Scorpion' sucks for all the wrong reasons

Filed under I Am Mean, TV

"Scorpion," a TV series, is ostensibly about the smartest man ever recorded, with something like a 190 IQ.
Maybe, but whoever writes the series has more like a 19 IQ.         
I will say this: My IQ has been tested numerous times, and my average score was enough that I can confidently say: IQ scores are (how should I say this...? Ummm) bullshit.
IQ, which stands for intelligence quotient, is about as much a measure of intelligence as a quarter pounder at McDonald's is a measure of levels of sound. 
The IQ tests administered in complete sincerity simply measure knowledge, not intelligence. 
Anyway, Scorpion acts like being smart is a disease. Like smart people need to be treated differently, because their brains are so focused on physics that they can't be bothered to process social interactions or interpersonal relations. And it's complete bullshit. 
There is no universal code saying smart people have to be socially awkward. 
Intelligence cannot possibly be measured. How can a smart person say being good at thinking is any more valid than John Elway being able to look over the backs of an offensive line and read the pattern of a potential defensive movement? Or a garbage man knowing exactly where to throw the black Hefty bag to maximize the efficiency of the truck on which he's hanging? True intelligence is immeasurable. The really smart guy discovered how to make fire, how to construct a wheel. Or to make a shelter out of leaves and branches. Humanity has survived to this point because brilliant people solved fundamental problems involved with making sure evolution continued for our species. 
Again, the point is this: Smart people are everywhere, even when we're thinking disdainfully about the people whose brains are much bigger than ours. I knew a guy who had mastered calculus in the seventh grade, yet today, he's delivering packages for a parcel service. But who the hell am I to tell him that's not a career a smart guy would choose? 
I said all that to say this: Scorpion is absolute bullshit. There are plenty of smart people who are absolutely normal socially. My son Axl is one of them. He could read when he was 18 months old. But put him around his athletic cousins and he's just a regular guy, punching, laughing, throwing balls and being a regular kid.
Smart is relative. It's easy. Being a well-rounded person? Not so much. Neither has to be mutually exclusive. Smart people can be socially normal, and socially normal people can be smart. I, for one, am glad we live in a world where Scorpion is one-dimensional, because real smart people are everywhere, and they don't have to act like nerds to prove it.
Plus, the show's situations are just stupid. Some Bulgarian hackers take over the United States' entire defensive network, seize control of jets in the air, making them dogfight each other. They even somehow manage to take control of the jets' ejection seats so the pilots can't get out. Then the hackers take control of a bunch of Navy destroyers, positioning them at the "four corners" of the continental US, and only the intrepid smart people in Scorpion can stop them, by using a stud finder to reprogram one of the planes' computers as it careens toward earth above them. I shit you not. And then the other smart guy uses Play Doh to coat his hands as he grabs onto a cable in an elevator shaft and jumps 30 stories to the ground to avoid the blast from a cruise missile launched at him because the Bulgarian hackers were mad that he was trying to un-hack them. 
And those are the BEST parts of the plot. Don't even make me describe the tandem love-triangle plots between the nerds and their inexplicably attractive love interests. 
Bah. But I do love the irony in the idea that the stupidest show on TV is about the smartest guy in the world.