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This man likes children. Like, REALLY likes them.
The first time my wife and I moved somewhere together, I had to pack her books. It was like moving an aircraft carrier across land. Going through all her books while packing them, I noticed a lot of books by one author I'd never heard of: Piers Anthony.
Apparently, he wrote an entire series of books about a magical place named Xanth that looked a lot like Florida, where he lives, and teenage girls — including my wife — ate them up. He even had a hotline set up where little girls, eh, readers, could  call him up and tell him how much they loved the books.
"Hi, Piers," my then-pubescent wife admitted to leaving on his answering machine. "I love you!" then she hung up and giggled the rest of the day.
So she handed me a book, "On a Pale Horse," in which a dude becomes the embodiment of death and time runs backward, and all kinds of weird shit, with the idea that I would love it. The writing was horrible. But the idea was clever, and I liked the book, although I thought it had a weird obsession with sex. Then she gave me another in the series, and that impression was cemented. I mentioned it to her, and she said something to the effect of "all his books have that."
She then suggested I read a book of Anthony's that she hadn't read yet, but had heard about:
Pornucopia, by Piers Anthony
Let me save you the trouble of reading it. Unless you like smegma being used in a "sexual" manner, and someone who uses "cleft" for "pussy" a lot, it's the most unsexy book I've ever read, and generally made me want to become a monk.
Reviewers described it as "quite weird," and that's the nicest thing I've ever heard about it. The "plot" is this: a dude is constantly thinking about how small his dick is, so a succubus (a kind of sex demon) meets him and introduces him to a doctor who cuts his penis off and replaces it with a magical penis that can save the world. I fucking kid you not.
Another reader said, "wtf is this, an attempt to get us grossed out by sex?"
Another: "The dumbest, most infantile, disgusting, idiot and un-erotic book I've ever read."
So anyway, that was the end of my Piers Anthony reading. Fast forward five years, and I was reading reviews of the movie "IT" by Stephen King, and someone was complaining that the teenage gang-bang from the 1950s was omitted from the movie. Someone else said, "Why are you complaining about that, when Piers Anthony puts pedophilia in all his books and then justifies it?
So I clicked the link they provided, and holy shit, they were not making it up. 
This is all over the Internet, and you can search it yourself, but I picked the easiest-to-read link:
You don't have to go there; I'll summarize it for you. In his 1990 novel, Firefly, Anthony features the story of a man on trial for having sex with a five-year-old girl. FIVE. YEARS. OLD. 
In the story, the girl comes to testify for him at the trial, saying their love was true and it was she, not him, who instigated the sex, therefore he should be acquitted. I'm not making that up. Her speech brings the judge to tears, the jury to nod in agreement. "The defendant never hurt her," his attorney tells the juror. "He only did what she asked."
What a five-year-old girl asked a grown man. 
And in the author's note at the end of the book, he says, "It may be the problem is not with what is deviant, but with our definitions. I suggest in the novel that little Nymph (yes, he actually named the kindergartener who the old man was fucking "Nymph") was abused not by the man with whom she had sex, but by members of her family who warped her taste, and by the society that preferred to condemn her lover rather than address the source of the problem in her family."
Her lover. That's what he calls the grown man who raped a tiny child. In actor of his books, Tatham Mound, Anthony has a ten-year-old girl seducing a man because she loves him so much and doesn't want him to leave and find older girls more attractive than she. She, again I shit you not, uses honey as lube, and does a terrible job of the sex, once she has seduced him. But fear not, when she comes back for seconds, she is much better. "What a difference experience made!" he proclaims in the book.
The thread runs through ALL his books. In one interview, he states: "if she's 36-24-36 and fair of feature, men are attracted, and so am I, regardless whether she's 15 or 50".
Here's a quote from another site: "In retrospect, even the seemingly innocuous Xanth series contained a healthy dose of child eroticism. It isn't nearly as explicit as in Tatham Mound or Firefly, but the undercurrent of sexual fantasy is still there. Characters as young as 12 years old are married and engage in the act of "stork summoning," which is playfully omitted with an ellipsis. There is also an unhealthy preoccupation with young girls' panties and what color they might be. I never really thought there was anything wrong with it as a kid, because I was roughly the same age as the characters in question and I found the whole thing quite titillating. I never stopped to question whether the much older author found it titillating as well."
So I told my wife this morning. Here is her response (she's the gray bubbles): 
So, in final summation, Piers Anthony is a pedophile who wrote books for children, encouraging them to come visit him in Florida, which was a magical place where little girls' panties could perform great feats of magic. 
Enjoy your lunch.

Oh, also, I've reactivated comments on here. I will test them for awhile, and if I like what I see, I'll add them to my news sites.
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