January 26, 2018, 4:16 pm
Me: All of my books are New York Times bestsellers. They're the best books. Incredible books. Everyone loves them. All the best people tell me that.
Fact checker: Not they're not. No one ever says that.
Me: I never said my books were bestsellers.
I guess this is my way of declaring my candidacy for president, the office whose only qualification seems to be inventing your own reality and then denying you did.